KAMATA

aya

 

Cv

@Aya Kamata All Rights Reserved.

Inthedaysofachild,Iwantedtobecomeanadultearly.Eachdaywastoolongandwasbored.Ithoughtthatitwastooboringandmightdie.Timewantedyoutobeoverearly,andthereforeyoumustrunawayfromthetime,andIcontinuedmovingwithoutthereforeoneselfbeingabsent,andrevealraninthethoughtthattherewasnotofchildlikegroundsmeaninglesslyifitmusthaveitandlaughedwithafigurefigureandItransferredarubberbandandplayed."Itisinstantalldaylong"Bylengthsuchastheimmortality,Iworriedaboutaworthlessthingalldaylonganditwasgoodandcriedevenif Iimitatedfatherandmother.

Adultwhodidnotcrywasenviable.Allthingsthatonlyanadultwasforgivenwereenviable.Anadultisunrivaled,andtheredoesnotneedtobethethingthatitenduresatoyandthecakewhichIwanttobefrightenedbyitdroppingtearsthatitistroubledwithareasonthatitisachildtoobeytheunpleasantteacheroftheschoolnonsensetohaveanunreasonableexperienceattime.ThereforeIwantedtobecomeanadultearly.ButthereistheobediencepartnerifIbecomeanadult,andthereisthemomentwhenyoumustdoafakesmile.Itbecomesmoreexpensive,andthethingwhichIwantappearswithoutanendandishard.Evenifitisanyyear,Iamtroubledwithaworthlessthingnonsenseanddroptears.Besides,Iamalone.Isurelypassinnotimeslipperilydaybydayindeed.ButIamfrightenedbypersonalvariouseventsaseverattime.WhenIwasover20yearsold,Iwantedtocomebackforthechildera.Itwashardthatitwasnotachildwithoutinadults.ThoughIwanttobecomeanadult,Ihaveapaininitinchildren.ThetimewhenIwasnotabletomoveinintervaloftwothoughtwaspositive.IthinkthatthereisneitherpresentIneitherthoughtnorthewish.Athing,lipstick,highheeledshoes,ablackdress,stockings,anecklaceandthedressingtablewhichwerereflectedinthemeshasasymbolofadultinthedaysofachild.EveninthemeangirlswhoappearedtoSnowWhite,Cinderella,Surrey,PrincesmallwomanSarah,therewasthebigdressingtablewhichshinedintheroom.Whenmanyshiningdressingtablewasavailable,IbelievedthatImadeanadultwoman.Therefore,inverystrongthought,Iwantedadressingtable.Itwasattractedbythem.WhenIamyoungthanadressingtable,lipstick,highheeledshoes,presentIamcharmedbyanidletoy.ButIwanttonevercomebackinthedaysofachildandthinkthatitissimplenostalgia.Whendressingtablecharmedby,toy,bothtobecharmedbygetintoeyes,Ifeelsad.Thewishofachildwantingtobecomeanadult.Thewishofanadulthurtinginchildren.Thechildwholivesinthefuture.Apastmemory.Isrealityprojectedwhetheradreamisprojectedinchildrenwhetheritisafaceofachildwantingtobecomeanadulttobereflectedinthemirrorwhetheritisthefaceofanadulthavingapaininit?Whatkindof facedoyouprojectwhatkindoffaceIproject?

 

2009/01/27